Friday, October 28, 2011

This is going to be lame.

Let's be real, not everyday is rainbows and sunshine (although some are). This week has been rough, so let me just let some nonsense out. Feel free to skip this post and wait for the next, I promise it will be something happy and pretty and full of sunshiney goodness.

Pharmacy school is hard. It is hard for Brendon and hard for me (obviously much harder for him, but still). Brendon spends about 70% of his waking hours at school and when he's home he's studying. I get to steal him away for meal times (when we have them together) and he occasionally can watch a movie with me. Even when he's trying to relax, I can see the wheels a-churnin' and him worrying about what he should be studying for. This is just how it is. Although I try work as much as I can (you know I need that cash money), I spend a lot, A LOT, of time alone. I enjoy spending time on my own, probably more than most people. It's relaxing and I get to work on all kinds of projects and churn out all sorts of pretty things. And making pretty things is seriously my goal in life and if I'm doing that I'm pretty happy. But, sometimes I get a little down. I miss my husband. I miss hanging out and being silly. I miss playing board games and spending whole nights glued to the couch together. I miss our hour long (because we always get off topic) conversations about what we should do that evening or what we should have for dinner. I miss going to bed together at night and not falling asleep alone. Mostly I miss my unstressed Brendon. I want to be able to help, but I can't. I can't studying for him, I can't do his homework. I want him to be able to relax. Pharmacy school is a 24 hour a day job. He spends most of his days during the week on campus, for instance today he got there at who knows when, maybe 8 something this morning? And he'll probably be done at 9 tonight. And then he works on the weekends because he's crazy. He lives and breathes pharmacy right now and I seriously could not be prouder. He is the hardest working person I have ever met. I could not do what he is doing right now. And even though this is rough, it will be worth it. Brendon is getting to do what he has always dreamed and everyday I am thankful for that. He is going to be an incredible pharmacist. We are very very lucky to be here doing this. And winter break is right around the corner and I will be able to steal him away for a good month.

And because the last thing Brendon needs is a pouty wife to deal with, I try to focus on the good things, like the holidays! And the fact that it feels like fall outside and it is wonderful! And that I get to come home everyday smelling like an espresso bean. And that my family is just a short drive away. And that my cats are ridiculous. And that Brendon is adorable. And that we are where we've wanted to be for years. AND that time is flying. Can you believe it is almost November?? Where did October go??

So I apologize for the whomp-whomp-ness of this post. Sometimes I just miss my previous life of ease and simplicity and become a whiney baby. But I make lame blog posts to make myself feel better and move on with my life. I am going to go embroider something now and continue making the world, or my apartment, a prettier place. Back to sunshine and rainbows y'all!

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