Wednesday, April 11, 2012

Skinny Fatass

I apologize if this sounds real stupid or silly, but it is what it is.

I am a skinny fatass. I have been blessed with good genes that, for the most part, keep me thin. I have always been small and (cross my fingers) will probably be that way for a while as long as I don't start consuming 4 hamburgers a day. It just runs in my family (chicken legs all over my family tree). When I was younger I could eat whatever I want and as much as I wanted and stay the same size. But, as I've gotten older I've noticed that it does matter what I what I put into my body. The summer after my twenty-first birthday I gained about 15 pounds (margaritas y'all, happy hour is killer). 15 pounds doesn't seem like a lot, but when you've been the same size for ever and all of a sudden you've got a fat face and your jeans don't fit right, it's a little unnerving. It took me a little while, but I lost most of the weight I had gained, and after moving down here to Austin and pretty much cutting alcohol out of my diet, I lost the rest and a little more (due to my lovely stomach ruining my life). Let me just stop here and say that even with those extra 15 pounds I wasn't thinking "omg I'm fat I need to lose weight", I just felt unhealthy and I was. So now I eat better and I think more about what is going into my body. I still eat pretty much whatever I want, just not as much and I'm more aware of it when I eat bad things like, a buffalo chicken sandwich. And the things I want to eat now tend to be on the healthier side. Aside from all those pastries I eat everyday at work. DESSERTS YOU WILL BE THE DEATH OF ME.

But unfortunately, eating right isn't everything. I get winded going up a flight of stairs y'all. I mean, I work on my feet all day, so it's not like I'm just sitting on my butt. Brendon has been bugging me like crazy to work out a little so that my bones don't weaken (?? something sciencey), and I figure since I'm getting older and my body is already trying to fall apart on me, getting into shape probably couldn't hurt (irony!). So here I am attempting the impossible. Working out on a regular basis. I try this once a year or so and never stick with it, so lets hope this time laziness doesn't prevail.

Have you ever seen the Princess Diaries? You have, don't lie. You know how Mia says to her gym teacher who is forcing her to play soccer, "I'm more of a horseback riding, wall climbing, yoga doing type of girl". That's me, except I don't do any of that stuff. I pretty much loathe physical activity. Especially if it's rigorous. But I do really enjoy pilates. It's something I pick up on and off again (at home, dvd style), and I like it. I think it's because I danced through my adolescence so this kinda thing is familiar. Although I have completely lost my sense of balance. Pilates hard as hell but your body feels so good afterwards. So I've been doing that. For liiiike a week? Maybe? And today, get this y'all... I RAN. I went running. I got up this morning and went for a run, ALONE. I ended up walking quite a bit, but I did run some! At first it was great. I was bouncing along the sidewalk feeling like a champion. And then I felt like I was going to DIE. Wake up call, I am SO out of shape. I have zero endurance. My legs were fine, they could have kept going, but my lungs were on fire. I thought I was going to pass out, puke, and die all at once.

As an example: this video. Cute huh? (best line, "Kansas City, it's the Paris of the plains!")  But, I'm not that super-pretty-while-running girl. I am that guy. Puking, in the hospital. But I want to be that girl! So even though I barely ran halfway around the block and came home feeling like I may die, I'm going to try to keep it up. Because it would be nice to be able to sing and run at the same time. Or breathe and run at the same time. And I already have the Nike's.

These are definitely from high school. A good 7+ years old. And whats super sad is that they're still in great condition. Maybe if I can keep this up I'll treat myself to a new pair of running shoes from this decade. Incentives. I need them.

Me, post death run. I don't know how I kept my hand steady enough to take a picture. I collapsed onto the couch shortly after.

So wish me luck. Send me lots of active vibes and thoughts of healthiness. I'm trying to become less of a weeny girl and more of a strong woman (HA). And save my bone density or whatever Brendon says.

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