39 weeks

Y'all! This could be the last one! WILL WE MAKE IT TO 40? Probably. Baby girl is still SO comfy in there, and seems to be very content with hanging out upside down and not having to deal with the real world. I get it little lady, I get it. But one week until the due date! Not that that is any indication that she'll arrive, but it's a goal to get to.

I'm trying these days to focus on remembering what it's like to be pregnant. What it's like growing this little Seahorse. This is a once in a lifetime kind of thing, and I want to soak it all in. I've been rushing and rushing for the past nine months, impatient to meet this little Hogan, but now that the end is near I find myself a little sad that it's almost over. And I do mean a little, I'm mostly thrilled to meet this girl and start the next BIG part of our adventure. But there is something really lovely and magical about growing a human. And having a built in little buddy. I'm nervous about what it's going to feel like to be... empty. It will be weird! And everyone is just so nice to you when you're pregnant, I'm gonna miss that. ;)

Thankfully I am feeling really really good. She's "dropped" so my back pain is basically gone unless I sit oddly or do something weird, and she's not so much right under my ribs any more, which is heavenly. I'm far more comfortable than I thought I'd be at this point which is making waiting, and enjoying, these last weeks easier. Overall, I think I've had it very very easy. I've spent a lot of time complaining about little things on this here blog, but I know it's been a much smoother ride than it could have been. I'm thankful for being healthy and making it to this point! The longer we're able to keep her in there the stronger (and chubbier! Eee!) she'll be. A healthy baby is all that matters.

But for real, we are ready for her to arrive! We've got everything in order that we could think of, and we even deep cleaned the house last weekend! My doctor is out of town today and tomorrow, but after that she can show up whenever! I'm just really really hoping she makes it by the end of January. I've got it set in my mind to have a January baby and it's doing all sorts of things to my brain realizing that she very well could come in February. It would be fine, obviously, but my dad and Brendon are the February babies, we've got no January birthdays! And I prefer January's birthstone over February's... so... ;) (Let me have my selfish moments while I can. I know karma is going to get me now for saying this and she'll be born February 1st at like 12:03am.)

Speaking of Brendon, he's still my hero. He's ready to meet the Seahorse as well and is forever checking on me and her. And making me go on walks. He was really trying to get her to show up this weekend while he had three days off. I think he's a little paranoid that I wont go to the hospital in time, but I think when the moment comes there will be no hesitation. Just keep that phone near you, Dr. Hogan, I'll let you know. And I have to share a gem from Boy Wonder, the other day while walking he said, "After the Seahorse is born you don't have to do anything. I'll take care of everything, I'll bring you food in bed, whatever you want. For like two days. Then you need to get up." Oh boo, you're too sweet. ;) I love that crazy boy. He's taking off TWO weeks when baby girl arrives and I'm feeling so lucky. My momma is also coming up to stay after she's born! Such a relief, knowing I'll have major back up. Because as I've said before, I'm flying blind here, what are babies?!

You're almost out of the woods with these bloated bathroom selfies. We're wrapping this whole thing up soon! So strange, but so exciting!

37 weeks

Cue the Final Countdown please.

Three more weeks! WHAT. But I feel like she's going to show up late? I just feel like she's big time chillin' in there. I mean, really, who knows when she'll show up. My goal was to make it past all the holidays, and she's full term now so no big stress if she shows up whenever. But I want that chubby baby. No hurry, little lady. (But at the same time, don't be real late either.)

I got a bonus ultrasound yesterday! My doctor was working with a resident so they used me as an opportunity to practice ultrasounding. Is that a word, ultrasounding? It is now. I hadn't seen her in about 20 weeks so I was super excited. She is BIG! She used to pretty much fit on the screen and now you can only do parts of her at a time! And I got to see her little face, which looks so much more human now. Cute little nosey! And I made sure that they checked again to make sure she is a girl. Is it just me, or do other moms to be get paranoid that somehow they saw the wrong thing down there? And that it will be a huge surprise come birthing day? It was just very reassuring to see lady parts. Because she ended up with a lot of pink stuff, as baby girls do. Also, she is still a wriggly little Seahorse, she never stays still! As my insides can attest to. She was not trying to let us get a good picture of her, I was kind of proud? Party on you feisty thing you. Also, hallelujah, she is head down. Which makes sense because whatever has been beating up my ribs definitely felt like knees and feet. She was kind of facing towards the side, but she moves so much who knows where she'll be in an hour. But hopefully she'll be face down on the big day!

So lets get to the complaining portion. My back pain has actually subsided some, maybe because she's moved lower? Or because I've started taking it easy? Or I've just gotten used to it? But whatever the reason, I'm hella thankful. The newest addition is stomach muscle cramps, like the kind you get when you run too fast but WHEN I WALK. Walking (waddling?) too fast... well, at a normal speed honestly, wrecks my world. I am a long legged power walker, I am not used to taking my time. We were at HEB shopping the other night and I was like, WHOA we have to slow down or I'm going to have a hernia. So that's taking some getting used to. Also makes me feel like a weenie.

Basically none of my clothes fit anymore. I've got a handful things that I wear over and over, but even some of my maternity clothes aren't making it over this big ol' belly and, lets be real, big ol' boobs. Wearing a bra basically just sucks. My rib cage has expanded so much that anything touching it feels awful. Brendon's side of the closet has recently become very appealing, although I wore one of his flannels yesterday and it still barely buttoned over my belly. But a HUUUUGE shout out to my maternity jeans, they are a freaking life saver and have not let me down yet. If you are in the market, GET THESE. They are worth every single penny. I cannot express how much I love those pants and what a relief it is that they still fit. They go a long way in helping me feel normal when I venture into public.

I'm pretty much ready for baby girl to get here. Every time I say that people go, "OH JUST WAIT! You'll want her back in!", which might be true, but yeesh. Also if someone tells me to "sleep while I can" one more time, I might just implode. I know everyone means well when they say stuff like this, but it does nothing for my anxiety and stress and worrying about being a first time mom. I think Brendon said it best the other night, we didn't go into this thing lightly, we sorta knew what we were getting into? I mean, nothing can prepare you for a newborn, I get that, but we knew it wouldn't be easy. I KNOW I'm going to be exhausted and tired and overwhelmed and generally wrecked. But I also know it will be 100% worth it. So if you have a pregnant friend, maybe say, "Good luck, you're going to do great!" or "You've got this!" or "Feel free to ask if you need anything!" instead of, "Kiss your life and sanity goodbye!" Because, damn.

(MUST MAKE NOTE HERE, there have been some AMAZINGLY supportive moms out here on the internet who have been life savers and excellent support systems through all this. I don't have a lot of young mom friends, but you guys have been there. Thank you for answering questions, giving helpful advice, and just being supportive. That support, man. You don't know how far it goes. THANK YOU.)

But seriously, all that whining aside ;), I am so excited. I'm excited to embark on this next adventure and we're so close! In just a few weeks our Seahorse will be out in this crazy world. I keep thinking of events on random future dates and I'm like, "Oh! We'll have the Seahorse!" Like Valentine's Day? THE SEAHORSE WILL BE HERE. EEEE! I want to meet her and hold her and watch her grow. I want to see what being a mom and a three person two cat family is like. Cats and babies! I want to muddle through this mess and find out what works for our family. I want to see Brendon hold that little bundle of goop and watch him be the rock star dad I know he'll be. And I want to change a diaper! I've never changed one before! I will loathe this statement in the future, I am sure of it. I have basically ZERO experience with babies, so this is going to be a wild ride. One that I'll probably fall off of multiple times, but gosh I'm stoked! I will probably be the biggest mess of my life for a few months, but it will be so so so worth it. I am also SO excited to not be pregnant anymore. I am not one of those people who loves being pregnant, and I've had a pretty easy pregnancy. It just kinda sucks, you feel me?

So we're just playing the waiting game! Being confined to staying an hour from the hospital has been real boring and makes the days inch by, but it's forcing me to rest and relax, so I think that's good. But for real, I am going nuts. I just want her to be hereeeee! But I know every day she stays in there makes her stronger, so I'm trying to be patient. It's just, if you know me, I'm not very good being patient. ;)

This photo is a liiiittle on the blurry side, but I spy a SOPHIE! :)

34 weeks

It's been a while since I've done one of these updates! It's been busy busy here for the Hogans, as December always seems to be. The last update was at 27 weeks, whoops. How time flies! The holidays are swiftly approaching (CHRISTMAS IS A WEEK FROM TOMORROW?) and that's always a chaotic mess of happiness. There's a big change this year, aside from me being knocked up. We won't be going home for Christmas this year. I've hit my "stay within an hour of the hospital" marker, and thus being two hours away from home in New Braunfels a month or so before she's due is not a good idea. Mostly for my sanity. Also, traveling in the car is torturous. I'm definitely bummed about not being able to go home from Christmas. This will probably be the first time, ever, and Christmas is my thing. But that's life huh? And growing up? And I think all our parents are going to try to come up to see us so that will be good! And we usually do four different Christmases in about 24 hours, sooooo it's probably for the best. Aaaaand not traveling also means, I had my last day of work yesterday. Cry face! Y'all don't even know how much I enjoyed my days sewing in Austin. It brought me sanity from running a coffee shop when we lived down there and then it brought me sanity from well, being pregnant and alone in Temple. That commute was always worth it. Susi and Eva, thank you so much for unknowingly being my support system through growing this Seahorse. I don't know what I would have done without you guys. Thank you for listening to me complain, for providing an excellent distraction, and for being generally awesome. Get that workroom nursery ready, me and the Seahorse will be coming down to sew as soon as we can. ;)

Sooo here we are, near the end! Thirty-four weeks. Gasp! Only six weeks left until the Seahorse's due date, which is pure insanity. This pregnancy has inched by in some ways but overall, it's gone by pretty dang fast. I've totally left the land of  "comfortable", I think I said farewell to those days around Thanksgiving. I am pretty much always uncomfortable now in some fashion. Sometimes I feel like my body is going to just fall apart, that my skeleton will just be like, SORRY, I'M OUT and I'll just be a mass of bleh on the floor.

Back and rib pain are my constant companions. I didn't really expect the back pain. It's nothing like I've ever dealt with. I've had plenty of aches and pain from running, but dang... this back pain is something else. And baby girl likes hanging out on my right side almost exclusively, with what I'm guessing is her feet under my ribs. So I've got very definite one sided pain. Sitting for long periods of time is pretty much torture, as is standing. Walking is actually excellent. Laying on my side is okay, but eventually my hips start hurting and that means rolling over. Which is basically the most pathetic maneuver ever. Think of that scene in a Christmas Story where Randy is bundled up to the point of immobility and he falls in the snow and can't get up. That's me trying to move while laying down. Lots of grunting.

Heartburn is still here, but I've gotten pretty good at controlling it. Acne is still here, but I've just about given up on caring. Hormones are better than they were last time I checked in, but gosh, every now and then I just get this WAVE of emotions that I'm so not used to feeling and I just want to come to pieces. But thankfully it seems to pass quickly. I heard it's a riot postpartum, so I'm attempting to mentally prepare myself. But honestly, I think I've still got it pretty good. Some ladies have it real rough and I'm still able to go about life pretty much normally. Just slower and with more complaining and a constant companion stealing my food that loves to kick my bladder.

We just finished our child birth classes and are touring the hospital this evening. Those classes were wonderful. Super informative, but if you're like me and are a huge weenie, they are also terrifying. I almost lost my cool during the C-section part, especially when they said in an emergency C-section your partner doesn't get to go with you. WHAT? I can't even. We are a package deal. Team Hogan. It doesn't work when one of us is missing!! But let's just keep our fingers crossed that she comes out... the normal way. Ha! I am in no way ready in any shape or form to give birth, but I will definitely be more prepared when the time comes thanks to that class. I've got no definite birth plan (basically suffer through as long as I can and then give me them druggggssss) and am going to attempt to be as flexible as possible. I think the biggest benefit of the class was finding out how they usually do things, and how supportive they are. I'm very happy with our hospital. I was a little nervous at first since Scott and White is the only option in Temple, but I feel like we are in good hands there. It's a big relief to be comfortable with who will be taking care of you.

Obviously aside from attempting to prepare for actually bringing the Seahorse into the world, we've been doing a lot of getting our world ready for her. Her room is pretty much set up and I think we've got most of the essentials. If she was born tomorrow we'd be just fine. There's a few things we need to buck up and purchase, but mostly we've been spoiled rotten by friends and family and are ready to roll. Thinking about actual day to day life with a newborn consumes a lot of my mental time these days. I am terrified. Naturally. But I am also so so so excited. Anxious is the perfect word. I can't even imagine what it will be like. That's the scariest part I think, that I have no clue what I'm doing. But does anyone with their first kid? I'm all in though, I'm ready to get my ass handed to me. And I think that's important. I'm ready and willing to suffer, haha. Bring your best, Seahorse.

So that's pretty much it! We're just wrapping up the last month and a half of waiting. Brendon is excited too. I know he's nervous about juggling a residency and a baby, but I have faith. I am so so fortunate to be able to be a stay at home mamma for a while, so I'm hoping that will make things easier for him. And I say he's nervous, but you'd never know it. He's such a winner. Kissing my belly, talking to the Seahorse, saying he can't wait to meet her! I die. That boy is so damn good. He's beyond supportive and even though he's a busy bee doing important pharmacist things, he's always present in anything that has to do with the Seahorse. The VA is a big part of this. They have been truly wonderful and so flexible throughout this whole thing. I know I dragged major ass moving to and accepting Temple, but it's been such a good place for us to be during this adventure. I couldn't have picked a better place for him to have done his residency. NOTE THAT EVERYONE. I am saying I'm glad we moved from Austin to Temple and that shit is cray. I'm not a huge fan of how alone I am here (or how there's nothing to eat if you're vegetarian), but it has been very good for us.

Was that a long enough update for you? Yeesh, huh? I could talk about being pregnant all day long because IT HAS CONSUMED MY LIFE. Parenthood, huh? ;) One more picture of me and our basketball of a Seahorse, because I can.

Twenty-seven weeks!

WHOA, two posts in one day, I am a maniac. I blame the rain and the fact that I can't leave the house without getting immediately drenched. This is the last week of the second trimester. What the?? Where has the time gone? I bounce back and forth between wanting to have the Seahorse here right now, and being totally okay with waiting another three months. Or ten. ;) We are far from ready. (Although we have a car seat! And a crib! And the start of a very cute wardrobe!) Her room is still very much our office. I'm in denial about losing my sewing space. Not that I'll have time to sew anyway, right? Setting goal now, make time to sew! She should be used to the sound of a sewing machine by now, she'll sleep through it, right? RIGHT?

I still feel mostly really good! I've had such a good second trimester, I'm a little scared that I have payback coming my way. Heartburn and indigestion are my biggest peeves right now, but my doctor gave the big okay for me to take Zantac, and it works wonders. The acne is still going full force, but whatever. I'm getting used to it. My back has started to hurt a little (long car rides are my nemesis), though I think it may be partially my fault. I've started running little one mile runs up and down the hill near our place. LOL, ONE MILE. Better than no running! It just feels so good to run! During anyway. After, I pay for it. But I just got a belly/back support band to wear while running, so I'm hoping that helps. We're signed up to run the Turkey Trot 5k with our adopted Temple family, and I am determined to not walk the entire thing! I will trot, if only minimally!

I had a riotous week last week with hormones. I don't know what the heck was going on, but I was just a mopey mess all week. I was just so sad! For no real reason. I was just down in the dumps, feeling very alone and nervous and just unprepared for life. It sucked, but I seem to have moved on from that, this week has been fab so who knows. Hormones are weird. That's what I tell myself when I'm feeling blue. HORMONES, they suck.

But seriously, being a weenie and complaining about my small ails aside, I feel so good! Moving around has gotten more awkward and challenging (At what point to you give up on shaving your legs? And when do you start asking for help tying your shoes?), but I can still do pretty much everything I want to! And everything is going smoothly for the Seahorse as well. Checkups are a breeze. At my last appointment we scheduled my glucose tolerance test. I'm super nervous! Partially about drinking that nasty drink that is taunting me daily from the counter, and partially because I'm scared I'll fail! Diabetes runs in my family big time, and I loooove desserts and carbs. But I've been trying to eat healthy for that little lady I'm growing. Halloween has been bad because candy. And candied apples. Oh my gosh, I am obsessed with candied apples! I wont disclose how many I've eaten, but it's a lot. HEB sells them and puts them right by the door as you walk in, it's so bad. Keep your fingers crossed for me on November 16th while I drink that nasty business and hopefully avoid puking. I do not want to fail!

I've been thinking more and more about the reality of another human being part of our family soon. Honestly, I know everyone says it's going to be so hard and it's going to be gross and I'll never sleep (I've never slept anyway, so no biggie there) and I know it will be, but you guys, I am so excited. I'm so so so so excited to meet this little human and see what she's like! I think about doing day to day things, and big things, plus one small being and I'm just like EEEEE! I think about Brendon holding her and playing with her and I almost die. Y'all, the Seahorse LOVES his voice. If anyone can get her to party on command, it's him. She wakes up almost every time he talks to her. Actually, I'm not sure if she ever sleeps. But she loves him, I know it. I can't wait for her to meet him on the outside! I don't know if I'll be able to handle myself. He's going to be wrapped around her little finger so fast. Which is good, because she's going to deprive him of a lot of much needed sleep during a very busy time of his residency. I'm a little worried about that.

A couple weeks before her due date, and then in February after she's born, Brendon will be commuting to Austin. And that stresses me out a little, because I'm totally scared she'll try to show up early while he's over an hour away. But really, it will be fine. I live two miles from the hospital. I'll just call the VA and scream in panic, SEND ME A PHARMACIST, I NEED A RIDE! Kidding. But pharmacists are, truly, some of the nicest folks. I bet someone would come rescue me. ;) But, hopefully the Seahorse shows up around her actual due date and all will be well. The part I'm real worried about is that she'll be a newborn while Brendon's having to get up soooo early to commute down to Austin. And that is just no fun. I don't mind being deprived of sleep, because I can nap while she does during the day plus I won't be using my brain to you know, make decisions that affect people's health (aside from the Seahorse!), but he's gotta go on business as usual. That boy's life is stressful enough! I know it will be fine, he can handle anything, and I know it will be worth it. But that wee little part of the future stresses me out the most, haha. But it's not forever. I think it's only six weeks in Austin, and it's not everyday of the week. We can do it! And that's a while from now, so... we'll worry about it then. :)

Life in general has slowed down slightly. Our weekends are no longer spent traveling at the moment, so that's nice. We've spent two weekends in a row here in Temple! I feel like that's never happened? Things are still crazy busy, which I never pictured when we moved here, but it's so good. And Temple/Belton is growing on me?? I found myself in Austin the other day thinking, gah I can't wait to get back to Temple. And then I was like, SAY WHAT? It's weird. I don't want to stay here forever or anything, but I dislike it less? I don't know. Sometimes I'm also like WTF IS THIS THE DARK AGES while living here, so who knows. I'm just kind of content. And that's nice.

OKAY, so that was a super long update. Twenty-seven weeks! And two days! Wrapping up that second trimester! Thank you to whoever reads this nonsense. I've been getting some FANTASTIC support from friends over the internet, and I cannot tell you how much that means and helps. Y'all are some winners. Thanks for keeping up with and mentally supporting our little life. And one more photo, because you don't have a basketball for a belly that often!

Twenty-three weeks!

Twenty-three weeks! This is the magic time you guys. Being pregnant is pretty easy these days. Hurrah for the second trimester! Aside from all my shirts being way too short. You know, I didn't really think about that. I thought about the width thing, but didn't think about everything being too short! My belly is always poking out. Beer belly style. I'm a real classy lady. Anyways, kudos to these pants I'm wearing. I've only bought two actual maternity items, a pair of jeans and a pair of pants. They're J.Crew maternity (a little pricey, but I jumped on dat sale!) and they are AMAZING. They have elastic panels where the front pockets would be so there's no weird over your belly band. They're like normal pants! But really comfy. So worth it. Also, thank you October weather for allowing me to wear pants! And a cardigan! OH CARDIGANS, how I've missed you.

So today Brendon and I met our Doctor! The real deal! And thank goodness, we loved her. And we all talked about the due date shenanigans and we decided that January 27th is THE day. Cool cool. And I got a flu shot today! I've never gotten one before, or the flu, but you know... for the Seahorse etc. I haven't gotten a shot in like ten years? But man, they are efficient these days! Didn't hurt, at all. And it took approximately 15 seconds. I think Dr. Hogan is a little bummed he didn't get to give me my first flu shot, but he's thrilled I got one regardless. Anyway, BIG stress relief to finally meet my doctor and to get the due date settled. The Seahorse is growing like a bean (as evidenced by the basketball in my stomach) and is still as active as ever. She kicked the little heart sonogram thing today. She's feisty.

Being preggo has been so good lately. I'm not going to say I totally adore it, because there are times... when my back hurts and my chest feels like it's going to explode from heartburn and I'm just sad sad sad for no reason at all (whyyyy does that happen? I'm like gahhh everything is so awful and depressing but it's not at all why do I feel like this?!)... but mostly, it's pretty dang cool. I love feeling and seeing the Seahorse party in my tummy. Girlfriend is the Hulk, y'all; she makes my tummy move. I love that Brendon loves my belly and kisses it and rubs it (at the most awkward times, of course) and loves talking to the Seahorse. I love thinking about what she's going to look like or act like or what she'll be into. I'll think, "Oh my gosh, we can do this with the Seahorse! We can take the Seahorse here!" There is so much fun to be had! Trick-or-treating, y'all! Christmas! AHHH! And gosh, just finally seeing her. I can't really wrap my mind around it, but seeing her is going to be awesome. And watching Brendon be a father! Oh man y'all. He's just going to be the best. Obviously, the cool dad. Who she asks for things from after I say, "nope." Because if he spoils me, can you imagine our daughter?! It's going to be trouble. The best kind. OH the adventures the three of us will have! Plus all the lack of sleep and poop and screaming and you know. The not sunshine and rainbows part. Bring that on too.

And on a more serious note, I've been thinking a lot about how this new addition is going to effect us. That sounds silly, duh, our lives are going to be rocked in a thousand ways. But I mean, us. Like our marriage. Because you guys, being married to Brendon is real real good. I love that boy more than I love the air in my lungs, I'd do anything for him. Like move to Temple! Ahem. But seriously, I love us. And I'm excited but also very nervous about how adding this little Seahorse to our family will change the dynamic. Because it will. Rather appropriately, this article, "How American parenting is killing the American marriage", popped up on my Facebook as something I posted a year ago yesterday. If you have a chance, read that article! Especially if you have little ones or are thinking about reproducing. It's funny that it popped up, because that's around when we decided that we'd officially be okay having kids and decided to stop trying not to have them. We weren't baby crazy by any means, but we had the mindset that if it happened, it happened. And a little over half a year later, it did!

Anyway, back to that article. Real talk, Brendon and I will love and cherish and support that Seahorse like no ones business, but I want to still love and cherish each other. I want to make sure that our marriage is forefront, and not on the back burner. Because gosh, it's so good. Why wouldn't I want to keep it that way? And why wouldn't the Seahorse want parents that love each other to the ends of the Earth? I keep repeatedly hearing from... advice givers (bless you all, but dang, y'all are some buzzkills) that, "It's not your life anymore." And every time I hear something along those lines I put my pouty-girl pants on and I'm like, "B-b-b-ut, that's not fair!" Because it's not! We had a wonderful thing going, and we decided to invite another human along for the fun. She can be a part (obviously a very BIG part) of our life, not our WHOLE life, right? I think that's okay? I don't know. We can speculate forever (until January) about what kind of parents we want to be, and then the Seahorse will arrive and could and probably will throw all our plans out the door. But, it can't hurt to hope right? Starting out on the right foot? I just love love love our love and I want this experience to make it bigger, not shove it to the back. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK? Ha.

Gosh. Life, man. It's nuts! But I'm so excited. :) And today has just been the most wonderful day. Any day I get to hear the Seahorse's heartbeat (and feel her attack the machinery) is a winner of a day. And I mean, have you been outside? I think October is blessing the whole country (except maybe the east coast, I'm sorry about that hurricane!) with fantastic fall weather. So yay! Yay for a healthy Seahorse, and yay for October. It's the beginning of the most magic time of the year, and being pregnant during it all is just making it that much more magical!

Halfway

Why yes, I went there because it's the only big mirror in the house. Bathroom selfie with Sophie. Who must be within ten feet of me at all times. She's my guard cat.

I think, we're about halfway through this pregnancy thing! I say I think, because every time I go to the doctor, they give me a new due date. And I say, "doctor", but I haven't met my actual doctor. I've been seeing a nurse practitioner/techs/financial advisers, etc for the past 3 and a half months. Weird huh? I have my first appointment with my REAL doctor next month. It's strange. I had one appointment at a clinic Austin just to confirm the pregnancy and make sure everything looked okay, and it was with what would have been my real doctor had I stayed in Austin. Because usually that's how you do things? Temple is weird. There's only one huuuuge hospital (Scott and White) in Temple so the options were pretty slim pickins. I guess it's okay though, everything is going normally so it's no biggie. The rest of my appointments will be with My Doctor. Whoever she might be. And I have no idea what my actual due date is, I'm just assuming we'll meet the Seahorse sometime in January.

So halfway! We are at a totally different stage than we were in the beginning. My quality of life has done a complete 180. I feel GOOD most of the time. Almost constantly hungry, and occasionally I just have a rough day, but mostly good good good. I get to do things! And enjoy them! It's nuts. I think back to being sick every, single, day, and I'm like... did that really happen? Gosh, that sucked. But we're past it! Even the headaches aren't as bad. My allergies are crazy and my skin is breaking out like I've never experienced in my life, but these are small annoyances compared to wanting to puke 24/7. I will take the boogers and zits. (But really, the acne could toooootally disappear. Anytime now.)

And I'm finally starting to show! I've noticed that my midsection was moving outwards for months, but it's now finally kind of obvious to the general public. If I'm wearing something tight, I think it looks more like I'm pregnant than I just ate a huge meal. I'm grateful that I didn't get real big real fast, because I know we'll get there eventually. I blame it on being tall (more room in there!), that I had a terrible first trimester and had a hard time gaining weight for a bit (ha, those days are over), and that I've stayed relatively healthy. I try not to eat a bunch of junk (okay, there are moments... carbs are just so good!) and I've kept up working out.

Although I gave up on running in July (cry face emoji). I just couldn't handle the nausea and the heat and the stress on my body. I think if I tried it now it might be easier, but it's just still so dang hot. Ugh, Texassssss. When I was running, I felt pretty good, my legs felt like they could go on forever, but I got so tired so fast. And then the aftermath was horrendous. I'd only run a couple miles but I'd feel hungover like I had run ten. I felt like I was doing more harm than good. So I stopped. It's sad, I know. I'm bummed. But I did start doing pilates. Lower impact and you can do it in the AC. Plus I don't know if it's my weak preggo body or what, but it's super challenging! And then me and Boy Wonder go on walks in the evenings when it's cool. Walking seems so silly after running for so long, but it really does wonders for how I feel. And it helps the indigestion that loves to creep up on me after dinner. I feel like an old man, Tums are my best friend.

Things are just hunky dory. I feel the Seahorse move, ALL THE TIME. She is a maniac and surprisingly strong for being itsy bitsy. I fear for my ribs in a couple months. I was driving back from Austin last week and was like, hmmm... I haven't felt her move in a while... and then "Hot Blooded" by Foreigner came on the radio and she immediately started partying. ;) I think we'll have our hands full with this little lady. But seriously, I love feeling her move. It's weird, weird as heck, but it's also so awesome. I'm like, "Yo!!! Wassup girlfriend?" and then I usually try to talk to her. I've even been reading Harry Potter out loud to her. Although it never lasts long, I read faster than I can narrate and I usually give up on account of getting sucked in to the story. Aaaaand I'm officially the weirdest person you know? Surely not, because you have to know Brendon too. And Brendon has continually been a boss about everything. No surprise there. Juggling a residency AND a crazy pregnant wife, without breaking a sweat. He's stoked about the Seahorse and even picked out her first decoration for her room! He's gotten to feel her move a few times, and he likes to try to poke my belly a little to get her to party for him. She's like, nah, most of the time though. And I don't know how it's possible, but I have the craziest school girl crush on Dr. Hogan these days. I mean, beyond the usual. Hormones? Baby Daddy things? I don't know. But dang, I like/love that boy a lot. Not that I didn't before, because I did, but gahhhhh how can you be this nuts about someone after so long? Everyday it gets worse. Poor guy. ;) END MUSHYNESS.

Halfway you guys!!! Another few months and she'll be here! So strange. I guess maybe eventually we should you know... look into getting some baby stuff?