Three more weeks! WHAT. But I feel like she's going to show up late? I just feel like she's big time chillin' in there. I mean, really, who knows when she'll show up. My goal was to make it past all the holidays, and she's full term now so no big stress if she shows up whenever. But I want that chubby baby. No hurry, little lady. (But at the same time, don't be real late either.)
I got a bonus ultrasound yesterday! My doctor was working with a resident so they used me as an opportunity to practice ultrasounding. Is that a word, ultrasounding? It is now. I hadn't seen her in about 20 weeks so I was super excited. She is BIG! She used to pretty much fit on the screen and now you can only do parts of her at a time! And I got to see her little face, which looks so much more human now. Cute little nosey! And I made sure that they checked again to make sure she is a girl. Is it just me, or do other moms to be get paranoid that somehow they saw the wrong thing down there? And that it will be a huge surprise come birthing day? It was just very reassuring to see lady parts. Because she ended up with a lot of pink stuff, as baby girls do. Also, she is still a wriggly little Seahorse, she never stays still! As my insides can attest to. She was not trying to let us get a good picture of her, I was kind of proud? Party on you feisty thing you. Also, hallelujah, she is head down. Which makes sense because whatever has been beating up my ribs definitely felt like knees and feet. She was kind of facing towards the side, but she moves so much who knows where she'll be in an hour. But hopefully she'll be face down on the big day!
So lets get to the complaining portion. My back pain has actually subsided some, maybe because she's moved lower? Or because I've started taking it easy? Or I've just gotten used to it? But whatever the reason, I'm hella thankful. The newest addition is stomach muscle cramps, like the kind you get when you run too fast but WHEN I WALK. Walking (waddling?) too fast... well, at a normal speed honestly, wrecks my world. I am a long legged power walker, I am not used to taking my time. We were at HEB shopping the other night and I was like, WHOA we have to slow down or I'm going to have a hernia. So that's taking some getting used to. Also makes me feel like a weenie.
Basically none of my clothes fit anymore. I've got a handful things that I wear over and over, but even some of my maternity clothes aren't making it over this big ol' belly and, lets be real, big ol' boobs. Wearing a bra basically just sucks. My rib cage has expanded so much that anything touching it feels awful. Brendon's side of the closet has recently become very appealing, although I wore one of his flannels yesterday and it still barely buttoned over my belly. But a HUUUUGE shout out to my maternity jeans, they are a freaking life saver and have not let me down yet. If you are in the market, GET THESE. They are worth every single penny. I cannot express how much I love those pants and what a relief it is that they still fit. They go a long way in helping me feel normal when I venture into public.
I'm pretty much ready for baby girl to get here. Every time I say that people go, "OH JUST WAIT! You'll want her back in!", which might be true, but yeesh. Also if someone tells me to "sleep while I can" one more time, I might just implode. I know everyone means well when they say stuff like this, but it does nothing for my anxiety and stress and worrying about being a first time mom. I think Brendon said it best the other night, we didn't go into this thing lightly, we sorta knew what we were getting into? I mean, nothing can prepare you for a newborn, I get that, but we knew it wouldn't be easy. I KNOW I'm going to be exhausted and tired and overwhelmed and generally wrecked. But I also know it will be 100% worth it. So if you have a pregnant friend, maybe say, "Good luck, you're going to do great!" or "You've got this!" or "Feel free to ask if you need anything!" instead of, "Kiss your life and sanity goodbye!" Because, damn.
(MUST MAKE NOTE HERE, there have been some AMAZINGLY supportive moms out here on the internet who have been life savers and excellent support systems through all this. I don't have a lot of young mom friends, but you guys have been there. Thank you for answering questions, giving helpful advice, and just being supportive. That support, man. You don't know how far it goes. THANK YOU.)
But seriously, all that whining aside ;), I am so excited. I'm excited to embark on this next adventure and we're so close! In just a few weeks our Seahorse will be out in this crazy world. I keep thinking of events on random future dates and I'm like, "Oh! We'll have the Seahorse!" Like Valentine's Day? THE SEAHORSE WILL BE HERE. EEEE! I want to meet her and hold her and watch her grow. I want to see what being a mom and a three person two cat family is like. Cats and babies! I want to muddle through this mess and find out what works for our family. I want to see Brendon hold that little bundle of goop and watch him be the rock star dad I know he'll be. And I want to change a diaper! I've never changed one before! I will loathe this statement in the future, I am sure of it. I have basically ZERO experience with babies, so this is going to be a wild ride. One that I'll probably fall off of multiple times, but gosh I'm stoked! I will probably be the biggest mess of my life for a few months, but it will be so so so worth it. I am also SO excited to not be pregnant anymore. I am not one of those people who loves being pregnant, and I've had a pretty easy pregnancy. It just kinda sucks, you feel me?
So we're just playing the waiting game! Being confined to staying an hour from the hospital has been real boring and makes the days inch by, but it's forcing me to rest and relax, so I think that's good. But for real, I am going nuts. I just want her to be hereeeee! But I know every day she stays in there makes her stronger, so I'm trying to be patient. It's just, if you know me, I'm not very good being patient. ;)
This photo is a liiiittle on the blurry side, but I spy a SOPHIE! :)