Friday, October 2, 2015

Twenty-three weeks!

Twenty-three weeks! This is the magic time you guys. Being pregnant is pretty easy these days. Hurrah for the second trimester! Aside from all my shirts being way too short. You know, I didn't really think about that. I thought about the width thing, but didn't think about everything being too short! My belly is always poking out. Beer belly style. I'm a real classy lady. Anyways, kudos to these pants I'm wearing. I've only bought two actual maternity items, a pair of jeans and a pair of pants. They're J.Crew maternity (a little pricey, but I jumped on dat sale!) and they are AMAZING. They have elastic panels where the front pockets would be so there's no weird over your belly band. They're like normal pants! But really comfy. So worth it. Also, thank you October weather for allowing me to wear pants! And a cardigan! OH CARDIGANS, how I've missed you.

So today Brendon and I met our Doctor! The real deal! And thank goodness, we loved her. And we all talked about the due date shenanigans and we decided that January 27th is THE day. Cool cool. And I got a flu shot today! I've never gotten one before, or the flu, but you know... for the Seahorse etc. I haven't gotten a shot in like ten years? But man, they are efficient these days! Didn't hurt, at all. And it took approximately 15 seconds. I think Dr. Hogan is a little bummed he didn't get to give me my first flu shot, but he's thrilled I got one regardless. Anyway, BIG stress relief to finally meet my doctor and to get the due date settled. The Seahorse is growing like a bean (as evidenced by the basketball in my stomach) and is still as active as ever. She kicked the little heart sonogram thing today. She's feisty.

Being preggo has been so good lately. I'm not going to say I totally adore it, because there are times... when my back hurts and my chest feels like it's going to explode from heartburn and I'm just sad sad sad for no reason at all (whyyyy does that happen? I'm like gahhh everything is so awful and depressing but it's not at all why do I feel like this?!)... but mostly, it's pretty dang cool. I love feeling and seeing the Seahorse party in my tummy. Girlfriend is the Hulk, y'all; she makes my tummy move. I love that Brendon loves my belly and kisses it and rubs it (at the most awkward times, of course) and loves talking to the Seahorse. I love thinking about what she's going to look like or act like or what she'll be into. I'll think, "Oh my gosh, we can do this with the Seahorse! We can take the Seahorse here!" There is so much fun to be had! Trick-or-treating, y'all! Christmas! AHHH! And gosh, just finally seeing her. I can't really wrap my mind around it, but seeing her is going to be awesome. And watching Brendon be a father! Oh man y'all. He's just going to be the best. Obviously, the cool dad. Who she asks for things from after I say, "nope." Because if he spoils me, can you imagine our daughter?! It's going to be trouble. The best kind. OH the adventures the three of us will have! Plus all the lack of sleep and poop and screaming and you know. The not sunshine and rainbows part. Bring that on too.

And on a more serious note, I've been thinking a lot about how this new addition is going to effect us. That sounds silly, duh, our lives are going to be rocked in a thousand ways. But I mean, us. Like our marriage. Because you guys, being married to Brendon is real real good. I love that boy more than I love the air in my lungs, I'd do anything for him. Like move to Temple! Ahem. But seriously, I love us. And I'm excited but also very nervous about how adding this little Seahorse to our family will change the dynamic. Because it will. Rather appropriately, this article, "How American parenting is killing the American marriage", popped up on my Facebook as something I posted a year ago yesterday. If you have a chance, read that article! Especially if you have little ones or are thinking about reproducing. It's funny that it popped up, because that's around when we decided that we'd officially be okay having kids and decided to stop trying not to have them. We weren't baby crazy by any means, but we had the mindset that if it happened, it happened. And a little over half a year later, it did!

Anyway, back to that article. Real talk, Brendon and I will love and cherish and support that Seahorse like no ones business, but I want to still love and cherish each other. I want to make sure that our marriage is forefront, and not on the back burner. Because gosh, it's so good. Why wouldn't I want to keep it that way? And why wouldn't the Seahorse want parents that love each other to the ends of the Earth? I keep repeatedly hearing from... advice givers (bless you all, but dang, y'all are some buzzkills) that, "It's not your life anymore." And every time I hear something along those lines I put my pouty-girl pants on and I'm like, "B-b-b-ut, that's not fair!" Because it's not! We had a wonderful thing going, and we decided to invite another human along for the fun. She can be a part (obviously a very BIG part) of our life, not our WHOLE life, right? I think that's okay? I don't know. We can speculate forever (until January) about what kind of parents we want to be, and then the Seahorse will arrive and could and probably will throw all our plans out the door. But, it can't hurt to hope right? Starting out on the right foot? I just love love love our love and I want this experience to make it bigger, not shove it to the back. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK? Ha.

Gosh. Life, man. It's nuts! But I'm so excited. :) And today has just been the most wonderful day. Any day I get to hear the Seahorse's heartbeat (and feel her attack the machinery) is a winner of a day. And I mean, have you been outside? I think October is blessing the whole country (except maybe the east coast, I'm sorry about that hurricane!) with fantastic fall weather. So yay! Yay for a healthy Seahorse, and yay for October. It's the beginning of the most magic time of the year, and being pregnant during it all is just making it that much more magical!

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