Friday, January 4, 2013

2013, give me my husband back!

That picture is from 2012, but whatever. It was taken on one of the hottest days of the year, and this past week I just haven't been able to stay warm.

This is not the first post of 2013 that I wanted to write. I had started a writing discussion of new year resolutions and how I never make any, but it just seemed half-hearted. This is what's on my mind.

So far 2013 has been fairly uneventful and not much fun. Lots of working for the husband and I. Well, I always work a lot, but Brendon being at work all the time is an odd thing. Brendon only works weekends (sometimes) during the school year so he is trying to hustle for that cash while he is out of school for the break. It will be nice to have the extra money, but our work schedules do not mesh well. He has a normal job, he gets off in the evenings, around 6 or 7. I on the other hand start my days incredibly early and I am usually home from work before 4. I'm halfway through my work day when Brendon gets to work. And he has been staying late to help out, so by the time he gets home, I'm ready for bed. When you get up for work at 3:30am, 8pm is bedtime. I work hard and once that sun goes down, your girl is tired. I don't mean to be, and it stinks. I haven't been able to stay up to hang out. There has been a lot of falling asleep during movies, a lot of passing out on the couch. A lot of not being with my other half. And as much as I am grateful for the extra income (overtime for Mr. H!), I miss my husband.

I'm finding myself wanting the break to be over and for pharmacy school to start. Something I never thought I'd want. Our schedules just match up better since he's just at school during the week. And often he's at home studying when I get home from work. And I know that's so selfish of me, because Brendon is loving not having to study and the lack of stress, but man I miss him. Being alone waiting for him to get home isn't fun. And then being unable to stay awake once he does get home is worse. And what makes me sad is that I can't imagine his schedule ever matching mine. Coffee shop hours are odd. I like it, but it's not exactly normal.

I'm mostly being a baby. I'm grateful that Brendon doesn't have study everyday and that he is working so hard to help us out. But I am also tired of being alone and waiting around is not something I do well. I'm all about instant gratification, I want my husband and I want him now. But you don't always get what you want, and he is worth the wait. Every time. Somehow somewhere we'll find a happy medium. We'll reach a happy place of normalcy one day where we'll have a decent amount of hours with each other everyday. One day.

2013, I bring need to bring back my sunshine and rainbows. I try to see them in everything, but lately it's been a little tougher than usual. So I guess if I had to have a resolution, it would be to continue seeing, and make more of an effort to see, the silver lining in everything. To always focus of the little good things. To MAKE good things happen. Because it's my year and I'll do what I want with it. Like taking a nap today so when my husband gets home, whenever he gets home, I'll be able to stay up a later with him. I mean look at the progress I've made, it's 8:30pm, y'all!

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