Baby Hogan

Hello, in case you missed the memo, I'm pregnant. Let's discuss. Because I'm a chronic oversharer and what else is the internet for if not for babies and cats?

So, first of all here are the big details. I'm 14 weeks pregnant. Due date is January 15th-ish. We found out at the beginning of May and kept it mostly secret for almost three months! It was hard. But fun.

We've been calling our kid the Seahorse. Because we're weird and "baby" just sounded too... I don't know. Babyish? And because when we first found out (we found out waaaay early), it was seriously just a wee embryo. Not even that, a jumble of cells. And Brendon said fetus and I was just like, ew. It was too tiny and microscopic and fetus just sounds scary. So he was like Seahorse! I think he meant sea monkey, but it came out Seahorse and I was like "Eeeeeee!" and that was it. We had a Seahorse.

Like I said, we found out very early. My cycle had been like clockwork (TMI? It's a post about being pregnant.) so when things didn't happen like they usually do I was suspicious. I also felt like, this might be it. I felt different. So about five days after I should have been surfing the crimson tide, I took a test. Too early I guess, because it came out negative. I felt funky about it, but I was like whatever, maybe my cycle is off because I'm stressed. But then it still never happened, so a weekish later I took another one on some random day before work, and instead of just the one blue line it had the faintest cross line of blue as well. So light, you had to really look, but it was there. I will forever and always remember the feeling seeing that pale blue line going the other direction. I was surprised and shocked and AHHHH and excited and kind of relieved? Because you guys I felt weird for a while, not a bad weird, but just like... different (raging hormones). And hopeful? So I ran into the other room and threw my pee stick on Brendon's desk (yes, gross, but in the heat of the moment...) and said "LOOK THERE ARE TWO LINES IT SAYS EVEN IF ONE IS FAINT IT'S POSITIVE I THINK I'M PREGNANT." Or something like that. And then I immediately grabbed the keys and made Brendon go with me to buy another test. That was a fun car ride. Adrenaline pumping, but also the strangest calm? By the way HEB is the cheapest place to buy pregnancy tests. This time I got a digital one so there was no question of faint lines. I didn't have to pee again yet and Brendon had to go to work so he was like, "Tell me the results immediately." The ever rational Mr. Hogan. Flash forward thirty minutes or so and I took the fancy digital test and boom there it was. In less than three minutes in the crispest digital print, "Pregnant". And as the millennial I am, I took a photo and sent it to Brendon.

So the Seahorse came into existence, or into our knowledge. My eggo was preggo. Really, the timing was almost perfect. Brendon was about to graduate and start his residency which meant that he'd be bringing in some income and our lives would reach some level of adult normalcy (is there such a thing?). But I do mean almost perfect. Because we found out at a crazy time. I was starting my last month of work (and all the drama that came with that), Brendon was graduating (lots of family = lots of stress. The good kind, but still..), and we were about to pack up our Austin lives and move to Temple. Lots of big things, all at once. So it was an interesting month to say the least. It was trying, in many ways, but also incredibly exhilarating. We told a couple of people, but other than that it was still very much a secret. So we went through all that craziness, while also coming to terms with the fact that the Hogan family was expanding, relatively alone. I mean we had each other, but it's hard keeping something like that to yourself. When I was exhausted and feeling near death at work, I couldn't be like, oh hey, lemme chug some calories real quick, or I AM GOING TO EXPLODE, because hormones. Or when your family is giving you the "when are you two reproducing" eyes (Whyyyyyy is that okay to ask? It is not, btw.) and you're just like, heh? Or when you're moving and packing and sweating and just so tired and you need to hide out but you can't? Like there is no time? But you guys, it was also the loveliest secret to keep. It was magical and special and just ours. And it also made me feel hella tough surviving that month, because I am woman hear me roar. But just wait.

Honestly, being preggo for the first month was pretty easy. Aside from all the craziness that just so happened to occur in that month. My biggest pregnancy symptoms were just incredibly sore boobs, and exhaustion. Oh and hormones, duh. But holy cow, so so so tired. But other than the boobs, grouchiness, and tiredness, it was an "easy" month. I was like dang, being pregnant is not bad! HA. Around week 6 (and a half) the nausea set in. And headaches. But mostly nausea. And it did not go away. It sucked so bad. Nausea all day long (morning sickness is a lie!), for like 6 weeks straight. Some people get cravings? I just hated food. I hated eating. Nothing sounded good. Except fruit, I ate a lot of fruit. Like so many bunches of bananas. IT SUCKED. I could write a book on how much it sucked. But once the first trimester started wrapping up, the nausea eased up too. Not totally gone, I still have to eat every two hours or I get pukey feeling, but so much better. Now I'm mostly just tired all the time and have the headaches from hell. Being pregnant is an adventure.

But thankfully y'all, I have a Brendon. Not only is he incredibly supportive and sweet and understanding (seriously, this cannot be stated enough, I married a saint), but he's also a pharmacist, so apparently he knows some medical mumbo jumbo. He's been leading me in the right directions and is my guru for, "Can I do this? Can I take this? Should I not do that?" Gosh, he's just so good to me. I don't know what I would do without him. Probably starve to death. He is always there for me. When I'm awful and grumpy and badly in need of a snack (or meal, or water, or whatever) at a very inconvenient time, he's got my back. He cooked so many meals for me you guys, so many. And he's also forever telling me "thank you for growing the Seahorse", which you know, would make my ovaries explode if they weren't in baby growing mode.

Also a shout out to my momma, who checked on me almost every day to see how I was feeling. There's nothing like being pregnant to make you appreciate your mom. I'm sure the appreciation only grows, as the Seahorse you know, comes out and we're, you know, raising it. I hear that's the hard part. Mom, you are my hero. I don't know how you did this twice. ;) 

But truly you guys, aside from feeling mostly awful for two months, the whole thing is great and pretty unreal. My hair and nails are on point right now. And my face has finally calmed down from the hormone explosion so maybe I'm getting that glow? And the ultrasounds!? Hearing someone else's heartbeat in my tummy? It really felt real once we heard it in there. So cool. I'm just super excited to be growing this Seahorse and super excited to see what our DNA mixed together turns out like. Obviously a badass, but what kind of badass? Gosh it's gonna be fun. Also scary (we are basically big children, who allowed us to become parents??). But let's focus on the fun, shall we? IT'S GONNA BE SO FUN.