Five years

Five years ago was the best day ever. Well, maybe tied with the day Indiana was born. More partying at weddings though. Less pain. ;) It was such a perfect and happy day, one of those days you wish you could relive over and over.

Marrying Brendon is at the tippy top of my "good decisions" list. It's made me happier than I ever thought was possible, and I've also laughed a whole bunch. In five years we've been through a lot. A couple big moves, a few jobs, we were broke as a joke, put in lots of hard work, dug ourselves out of the hole, got a new car, someone got a doctorate, went vegetarian, got hooked on running, went on so many fun trips and adventures, aaaaand we made a baby. Plus lots of snuggles and smooches and shenanigans. I'd say it's been a reeeeally good five years.

This has definitely been the craziest year of marriage with the biggest changes. But so good! Every year is better than the last generally. This one though, it came with Indiana so it gets gold stars.

Being married to Brendon has never been hard, but sometimes (a lot of times) life isn't a cake walk. Having a baby is different and very real sort of challenge for our marriage. Mostly, I miss my husband. Bedtime for Indiana starts around seven these days and by the time she's asleep I'm ready to be doing the same. Which only gives us a few hours together after Dr. H gets home from work. And those are usually filled with Brendon squeezing in all the time with Indy he can get while I make dinner and try to find some rare minutes to myself. It's tough. I miss lounging around with him, watching movies, playing board games, just relaxing. Me and him. Don't get me wrong, Indiana is the bomb and the best and we're so lucky she's ours. But she's also a lotta work! Worth it of course, seeing Brendon with our daughter is magic, but I do miss him. Weekends though, those are what's up. Weekends forever please!!

But every day and week and month with Indiana gets easier and more fun. And we are a family!! Of three! I can't wait to see how we grow together. This next year of marriage will be full of more challenges but also full of very good things. As long as we are together, it will be good. And probably funny.

Cheers to five years of love and adventures, Brendon! You're my favorite and the cutest and sweetest and I can't imagine doing life with anyone else. So glad you picked me. Love you forever. And I'm SO glad our anniversary fell on a weekend. :)

Four years

I think we'll always just be a little bit awkward. And that's okay. And also fun.

FOUR YEARS. Each better than the one before. And man, this year was by far the craziest. In a good way. Life has been getting so real and it's such an adventure. Not always an easy one, but it's easier when you're stumbling through with your best friend who you also like to smooch. Sometimes I'm like wow, we've only been married for four years? SEEMS LIKE A TEN. But mostly I'm like, what the heck? Where did time go?? So much has happened in the past four years (like someone ALMOST  getting a doctorate!), it's crazy to think back on who we were four years ago. Such babies! But happy babies, who got thrown head first into life and had a lot of fun figuring it out. (This is still happening, lets be clear, we do not have it figured out.)

But gosh, in the midst of the stress of big life things, being married has been so much fun. Like, you guys, I married a winner. As I was typing this Brendon faux-flipped me out of my computer chair. Because that is just business as usual around here. Life will never be boring with Brendon. He is absolutely ridiculous 90% of the time, and sometimes I'm like omgwtf, but mostly I'm  smiling and giggling and having the time of my life. He drives me up the wall, but he also makes me so so so happy. He goes so far out of his way to make sure that I am happy. You guys, the princess complex is just spiraling out of control. I AM A LUCKY LADY.

So yes, four years of happy. Here's to four gazillion more.

(SIDE NOTE: I did the annual going through wedding photos today and OH MY GOSH thank you everyone again for making that such a lovely day. I know wedding photos are only the "highlights", but honestly, every moment our wedding was a highlight. Best day ever. And I mean, not just because I married by boo, but because of all the fantastic people who celebrated with us. I think the majority of people who attended where from out of town if not out of state; you guys traveled so far to celebrate with us! I will never get over that. I will always be in awe of all the wonderful people in our lives. We love every one of you.)

Three Years

Three years of marriage, y'all! Threeeeee! Where has the time gone? Every day time seems to be moving faster and faster, we'll be old and wrinkly and toothless before we know it. These past three years have been the most fun and best of my life. The theme of year three of married life seemed to be FUN. We had a lot of fun this past year together. Although we're still in the throws of pharmacy school (ONE MORE YEAR) and I'm continually working my tail off, we seemed to get a hang of it this year and managed to squeeze in a whole lot of adventures when we weren't hustling our respective games.

Mr. Hogan is my favorite person in the world to embark on adventures with. Really, that's my end goal in life. Have fun with my other half. But life is BUSY and it takes a certain amount of effort and work to make time for adventures, and more importantly each other, and this past year we made it happen. I think it's what keeps us sane. Life is often messy and hectic and not so awesome, but making time for fun and love makes all the rough parts worth it and seem not so rough. I think this last year we've realized how important this is, and we've gotten pretty good at making time for each other when we can. Making sure that "married time" happens, even if you're the busiest and super stressed (erryday, y'all). It's just so crucial. Even if it's something as small as cuddling and giggling on the couch for the random 20 minutes of free time you've got, it matters. And as silly as it sounds, running together has been a huge deal. It creates time together and has been so fun. Because we take running fairly seriously and work it into our schedules, it's scheduled time together. Time to sweat and struggle and hate your legs, but time with each other, no work or school involved. It's the sweaty things, y'all. But really, making time for each other. No matter what you're doing (fun things are recommended!), it's so good.

So cheers to three wonderful years. Looking back three years ago still gives me chills. April 30, 2011 was such a wonderful, unperfectly perfect, and happy happy happy day. We were totally spoiled with love by the most lovely people. I can't say it enough, we are so fortunate to have the people in our lives that we do. They're such winners. And all so good looking! ;) I really wouldn't change a damn thing about our wedding day... except what we wore. As any girl would, I would LOVE to pick out a new wedding dress. Not that I don't love mine, because I do, but I'd get married in something light and flowy, with straps or sleeves because dancing is so much easier when you're not worried about gravity causing your dress to peace out on you and show your goodies to your nearest and dearest. And less dress is bueno when you're getting hitched in Texas heat. Also, HALF as much makeup. I mean, word? Coulda woulda shoulda.

So thank you for the best three years ever, Brendon. Married life is the bomb when you're married to you. Also, you keep getting cuter every year (there's these very few grey hairs that are appearing in Mr. Hogan's fantastic mop, y'all... ooooooo!) and that is trouble. The good kind. I love you, a lot. Year four is going to be amazing, I know it.

Can't get enough of our baby wedding faces? Here is Year One and Two, as well as "the Wedding Posts".

Thoughts on "Marriage Isn't for You"

I interrupt the normal broadcast of food and projects for some actual thoughts from my head. I know that doesn't happen often around here, so forgive me and please don't take me too seriously.

If you are active on Facebook, you've probably read Seth Adam Smith's post "Marriage Isn't for You". Once you come to the realization that he is talking about marriage in a good light (this should happen relatively quickly) you find an article about a man realizing that he was being selfish in his marriage and declaring that marriage is about your partner, not yourself. It's fairly sweet and I congratulate him on becoming less selfish. However, I have all kinds of issues with this article and the fact that it has gone viral over the internet like it is telling some sort of highly classified secret of matrimony. It is not. It is not ground breaking. If you thought marriage was just for you and this article was some sort of awakening, marriage probably quite literally is NOT for you. Not yet anyway.

I have been married to Brendon for two and a half years, so I am by absolutely no means an expert on the subject. We are very young and are still, in my mind, in the "newlywed" years. And they're wonderful, may they last forever. However, Brendon and I have been together for almost eight years. We are, like the Smiths, "high school sweethearts" (did you just cringe? because I did). And thus through these eight years, we have gone through some crap together. Big things and scary things and lots of petty things. Lots of growing up. Luckily we got most of the petty nonsense out of the way before we got married. BUT we were wild and wily rebels that lived together for years before marriage so we had an opportunity more traditional couples did not. I'm assuming the Smiths are more traditional. So we cheated with a head start. We entered into marriage knowing an awful lot about each other and an awful lot about how to make us work.

And there's the difference for me, and it's really quite simple. It's about us. Marriage is not about one person, whether it be you or them. It is about two, it is about you both. I mean, clearly. Marriage binds two individuals together, publicly, legally, and spiritually. It's an agreement between two people. And goodness, to assume all marriages are the same would be such a silly thing. All marriages are not the same. And all marriages, I'm guessing, function incredibly differently. What works for one couple may not work for another. Pretty common sense stuff, everyone is different, yadda yadda. Oh and EVERYONE should be able to embark on this marriage adventure if they want to. Ahem.

But for Brendon and I, being married is about We and Us. It is for each other. It is compromise after compromise and giving and taking and loving and fighting but always agreeing to stick it out forever because it's worth it. It is knowing that you will do anything and everything for the other, but still being your own person. Brendon and I have our own individual lives that are wrapped together in a big ol' tangled mess that I never want to unravel. We put our big kid pants on and make it out there in the world on our own, but we've always got each others' back. And that makes that crazy world out there easier to navigate, knowing that we have each other. Having someone to bounce ideas off of, having someone to make those BIG decisions with, having someone to tell us it's okay when the poop hits the fan and it feels very not okay. We both have goals for ourselves and goals we want to meet together and they are ever evolving and changing because that's the adventure of life and it's never what you think it will be.

And let me stress this point, marriage is about both of us. Which means in some ways it is about me. I love Brendon with every fiber of my being, from my multiplying wiry grey hairs, to my chipped toenails, I love that man. And I would do anything for him. But I also love me. Our marriage is very much about me in a sense because that man makes me happier than anyone in the world. So I married him and I'm not letting him go. But because he makes me happy, I want to make him happy. Because why wouldn't I? I want him to feel the same way about me that I do about him, because that feeling is real nice. I want him to want me, I want him to always want me as his wife. And that means giving. And that means making it about him. It's a cycle, y'all. It's the damn circle of life marriage. My life does not completely revolve around him and his not around me. They're more in very similar orbits that are fixed together forever by gravity because we want them to be and we just happen to love to bump into each other. We're planets now clearly.

So yes yes yes, it's about both of you. Always and forever. And it is also to some extent about your family and your friends that you build into your life, because they make you who you are. If you have children, they become a part of the Us. We are childless so I can't speak a lot about marriage with offspring, but I don't think marriage is about one person, your child included. If we have a family I still want it to be about me, Brendon, and our child(ren), all together and as individual people, working and loving and living together. Marriage is about living! Oh goodness is marriage about living. If it is not about living, I can't imagine it would be much fun. And although marriage is not always fun, fun should be the end game.

As I hope you did with Smith's article, please take all this nonsense I just spewed into the internet with a grain of salt. My marriage is not perfect, and I don't think anyone's is. I am 25 and have only seen (hopefully) a quarter of my life and have only seen a couple years of marriage. I am not all knowing when it comes to marriage and I am sure as hell not wise. I just had to get real for a moment and deal with that article. Because this is what marriage is for me, right now. It's simply about the two of us. It might not be like this in ten or twenty years, but right now, this is it. And it's good.  Really good. So forget "Marriage Isn't for You", because it is. It's just not at all just about you, and if you think it is, you'll probably have a Seth Adam Smith moment, except your partner might not be so sweet.

And to wrap it up, I leave you with this article my friend shared, on Facebook of course, that is a great example of what marriage can be. Sorry if you cry.

(And that photo of our extra cute hands up there is by J. Noel Photography.)

Two Years

Not in the mood for smooshy gooshy love? Don't read this.

Our second year of married life has been... good. So good. This past year of marriage has been all about learning and growing with Brendon and appreciating and loving him more than ever. Even though I swear I know him backwards and forwards, he never ceases to surprise me. I learn new things about and from him everyday. Going through life with him is the greatest and most fun thing in the world.

And goodness, the things this man makes me feel. So many butterflies, after seven plus years of messy life together and two years of being his wife. I fall for him more and more everyday. I am crazy about him like a school girl. It's wonderful and scary, in a good way. How can anyone love this much? My heart hurts when we're apart and when I'm with him I cannot get enough. I'm addicted, big time. I crave his touch and his glances and his words. I want everything about him. I want his thoughts, his dreams, his future. I want to make him smile, to make him laugh, to make him happier than he's ever been. There is never enough. I miss him. Life gets in the way. It sucks and it hurts being away from him, but it is that much better when we're finally together again. And being apart gives us good things to talk about and share, although even if we spent every waking second together I don't think we'd ever run out of things to say.

I don't know how this man does to me what he does, but I love it. And I love him more now than I did yesterday and less today than I will tomorrow. Forever and always. I am the luckiest girl in the world, because he picked me. He wants me and he loves me. He loves the bad and good things about me, and is patient and kind with me when I am rotten tomato of grumpiness. Being married to him is the easiest and best thing in the world. I know marriage is not supposed to be easy, but it is. Life is not easy, life is hard and tiring and mean sometimes, but being married to him is like breathing deep gulps of air after life holds you under the water. Having each other is our protection against the dark and crummy things that so often threaten to appear in our simple little lives. Even after or during the most terrible day, knowing that we still have each other makes everything okay. He is my safe place, he is my home. He is everything and he is mine. And I am his. Two years down, forever to go.

And so you don't think we're all serious business:

Holy pit stains batman!

Photos curtesy of Powerhouse Studios. More wedding goodies here .

One Year

One year ago today, my sweet husband and I tied the knot! We did the damn thing and made our love official. It was hands down the best day ever. I wish I could relive that day over and over and over. And over. And the honeymoon too please! We haven't been on a vacation since and I think we are both in need of one.

Our first year of marriage has been a wild one! Nothing either of us could have predicted that's for sure. We were young, crazy, and a little naive (still are all of those things), starting out on a new little life together. We had no idea what we were in for. After coming home from the best honeymoon ever, we packed up our lives and moved to Austin. And thus began the wildness. We hit a few bumps along the way (some bigger than others) but here we are today, together in one happy little married piece.

And although this last year was definitely was not easy, being married to Brendon was a piece of cake. Loving him and being his wife is so easy. It's like breathing. I have never loved him more and I am crazier about him every day. I have no idea how that's possible after all these years, but I dig it. Yes, I want to punch him in the face sometimes (who doesn't? Kidding babe! ...kinda), and I'm sure he feels the same about me. I know I can be a bee-otch fosho! But everyday is an adventure and even at our grumpiest I am happier than ever. No matter what life throws at us, we've got each other and that makes everything seem a whole lot easier.

Thank you Brendon Hogan, for being a wonderful husband for one wonderful year. Thank you for loving me and all my craziness. For putting up with me on my bad days and loving me no matter what. Thank you for making me laugh and laughing with me everyday. You are so much fun. You are as weird as I am (if not weirder) and can handle even my oddest quirks and habits. On that note, thank you for being patient with me. I know I can be am a mess. Thank you for being adorable and handsome and such a cute little nerd. I swear you get better looking everyday (not fair!). Thank you for inspiring me to be a better person. You work so hard at everything you do, I am envious of your determination and endless supply of motivation! And your charm! How you work your magic on people blows my mind. Thank you for always supporting me in everything, seriously. You have no idea how important that is to me. My life has changed so radically this past year, I am doing things I never thought I was capable of. And I highly doubt I would have been able to do any of it without you.

So thank you for being you, Mr. Hogan. I love you more than anything and I can't wait to spend a gazillion more years married to you.

 

 Post ceremony victory dance across the lawn!

Photo cred to the amazing Breanna at Powerhouse Studios.

Recap of our wedding here, here, and here. Honeymoon part one, two, three, four, five, six. Yes there are six parts. It was an awesome honeymoon OKAY?

blah blah happily married blah blah

How cute is this boy?? I think he seriously gets more attractive everyday. He's so aging well already. ;)

We kind of blew through our one month marker of marriage with all the crazy moving. But let me tell you, it's been a good month, regardless of all the stress. Happy days upon happy days. People kept asking me if it felt any different to be married, and it does but it doesn't. We're still the same people and really not much has changed, but every now and then I think of him being my husband and I have a little giddy fit of happiness. And we share a last name now! Changing mine was a pain, and I debated staying a Brooks, but I'm glad I changed it. He's the last Hogan in his family so it's like we've got a whole new legacy to live out. As much as I love being a Brooks, there are A LOT of us. Just a couple of us Hogan's.

Side note: the AC vent thing is making super creepy clicking noises. The cats are sitting below it very intrigued, and I'm staring at it like a gremlin is about to pop out. This apartment... it's going drive me insane.